crackers with peanut butter and academic withdrawal

Last Friday I became Olgs B.A.(Hon) and as such, a useful and contributing member to society. My new real life goes as follows:

I wake up at 6:30 am let the molester out for a pee. I then eat bran flakes while watching Breakfast Television before running out to catch the #94 Harbord bus to the subway and then to my respectable 9-5 job. At said job, I do what I am told and pretend to be important when the unwashed masses (read clients) call in asking about mortgages. At 4:58 pm I clean off my desk and join the zombie parade back downtown where I get home just in time to catch the tail end of Dr. Phil. I then heat up whatever frozen meal the President Chose for me, which I consume over Inside Edition or other insightful works of investigative tv journalism.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

I am starting to find Dr. Phil to be the answer to all of life's problems. Announcements on the news like "raging inferno" and "celebrity sex scandal" excite me. The "crazy antics" of the Breakfast TV crew are growing startlingly amusing. I am a 45 year old single mother of one (Chester).

This cannot be life post-academia. I am seriously considering a PhD.