Olgs’ Guide to surviving X-mas shopping
1. Bring food and water and wear adult diapers. You will be burning off around 900 calories per hour running around the mall, dodging packs of adolescent Asians and geriatrics so you will be hungry and dehydrated. Also, the capacity of the mall increases by about 400% during this time a year, however the washrooms do not increase in availability. Do the math.
2. Don’t expect help from anyone. The staff hired to retail positions this time of year are seasonal, thus temporary. They are only there to collect their 8$/hour so that they can have enough come December 24th to buy that Xbox 360 or iPod Nano and don’t give two cares if you need help going through the pile of cashmere sweaters that has formed under the rack looking for a size.
3. Speaking of cashmere…. Abide by the “one present for you, one present for me” rule. This little dose of retail therapy interspersed in your day of hell at the mall helps make the whole experience a little more bearable. I abide by this rule religiously and thusly came home today with more cashmere than one girl really needs.
4. Don’t be afraid to throw fists. I lost out on a sweet deal today because I was run down by a middle aged woman in the men’s section of H&M. Here I was “respecting my elders” and all that crap and here she is throwing me down in a half nelson in order to grab the last large corduroy blazer in chocolate brown. I was left bruised and with the camel which is clearly an inferior colour.
2. Don’t expect help from anyone. The staff hired to retail positions this time of year are seasonal, thus temporary. They are only there to collect their 8$/hour so that they can have enough come December 24th to buy that Xbox 360 or iPod Nano and don’t give two cares if you need help going through the pile of cashmere sweaters that has formed under the rack looking for a size.
3. Speaking of cashmere…. Abide by the “one present for you, one present for me” rule. This little dose of retail therapy interspersed in your day of hell at the mall helps make the whole experience a little more bearable. I abide by this rule religiously and thusly came home today with more cashmere than one girl really needs.
4. Don’t be afraid to throw fists. I lost out on a sweet deal today because I was run down by a middle aged woman in the men’s section of H&M. Here I was “respecting my elders” and all that crap and here she is throwing me down in a half nelson in order to grab the last large corduroy blazer in chocolate brown. I was left bruised and with the camel which is clearly an inferior colour.
posted by Olgs at
1:45 PM
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