Dear Cheap York University Students

Allow me to give you a bit of advice. When you come to a bar, my bar, any bar really, there is a custom in this country called “tipping”. It is an expression of gratitude for the service being rendered to you. See, when you bark orders across a bar and are met promptly with a beverage and a smile, it is customary to leave some kind of monetary reward behind for the server as a sign of your appreciation. Especially you, blonde girl with shirt that was much too small for you and with badly dyed blonde hair, when your drink comes to a total of $5.75, and you give me $6.00, I give you $0.25 as change. Now I do appreciate that you took that whole quarter and then rummaged around in your purse for 3 minutes taking up prime bar space looking for that dime you left me, it took a lot of effort. However, the amount of effort that it took me to make your customized vodka concoction is worth a little more than your flippin’ dime. Take that dime and shove it. Also buy some clothes that fit as your back rolls were turning off my regulars who actually tip.

Thank you,

Your friendly neighbourhood bartender